deflated me.

i'll be back in school TOMORROW. this is an unpleasant thought. it isn't so because of the prospect of school, but mostly because i am running out of time to do the things i've meticulously exercised in my mind. when you make yourself a concrete picture in your mind, it materializes itself, but with a lazy, sleepy soul like mine, it's without effort that the battle is lost. i am not complaining. i say that because i can't complain.

there is time left yet to do something. most of them involves making up for the screwing up. damn, you know, i had so much hope for all that warm, fuzzy, cuddly positive stuff. i was gonna make it happen. i was pumped up. and then. and then i deflate myself. that's what. does it even help letting this all out? all i wanted to do was write. and this comes out. i guess being creative isn't something i'd like to do too. there is a long to-do list which items are of equal top priority, which i keep crossing out everyday not for completing the task, but from not wanting to do. i feel crappy. this is crap writing.

it's a miserable job as sbp student, a miserable party, a miserable time. everything is a miserable gig with a miserable self. i agree.

my way of loosening up is different form yours. we define our own world. so you may give me the advice, but don't think that you're doing me a favor by dictating me your way of doing it.haha.

P/s: sekadar melepaskan tekanan as tomorrow will be such a hell.